10s Are Rare, Like Really Rare.

To start I don’t believe 10/10 is really a fair rating as it implies physical perfection but, even if we do want to use it as a rating you’d likely never even meet one. If we convert the out of 10 attractiveness scale to a normal distribution bell curve…

The Rarity of each Rating look like this…

0/10 - 1 in 1,000,000
1/10 - 1 in 10,000
2/10 - 1 in 1000
3/10 - 1 in 47
4/10 - 1 in 6
5/10 - 1 in 2
6/10 - 1 in 6
7/10 - 1 in 47
8/10 - 1 in 1000
9/10 - 1 in 10,000
10/10 - 1 in 1,000,000

To put this in perspective the Average person meets 80,000 people in their entire life. This means in all likelihood you will never meet a single 10/10 in your entire life.

Even if you did meet one you wouldn’t be able to pull them.

Most people have heard the phrase “Looks only get you in the door”. I think this phrase has a lot of truth to it, but I think most people underestimate the value of getting in the door. Looks may only get you in the door, but if you never get in the door, you don’t have a chance at all.

Think about it like applying for a job, with your looks as your resume, and your game/personality as your interview skills. Both matter but if your resume sucks you’ll never even get the chance to show your interview skills.

The vast majority of people will reject anyone more than 1 point below them simply based on looks. Toss their resume out without an interview, because they know they can do better. A 10/10 is likely 3 points, or more, above you. Why would they even give you an interview? It’s like applying to the CEO position at a Fortune 500 company with anything less than a Harvard MBA on your resume. You could have the best game/personality in the world but it won’t matter, because they won’t even give you a chance

You don’t need a 10/10 to have a happy fulfilling relationship.

A study done by genius Samantha Joel and a team of 86 other scientists that looked at 11,196 Long-Term couples using machine learning to analyze the data attempted to figure out which traits made happy/healthy couples. They found 3 traits that were significantly correlated with how happy a relationship was.

3 Key Traits to look for in a partner

1. How satisfied a potential partner is with their life before you start a relationship with them

2. Secure Attachment Style: How willing a person is to trust and show affection to a potential partner

3. Conscientiousness: The personality trait responsible for work ethic and organization

A trait that didn’t correlate with happiness at all - the attractiveness of the potential partner. When looking for a partner our biology leads us in the direction of optimizing for beauty, but it’s misguided.

Many guys I know won’t settle for a girl because they think they can do better from an attractiveness point of view(most of the time they can’t and settle for someone of similar or less attractiveness later). Biologically it makes sense but logically it doesn’t. Instead of not settling for any girl who isn’t an 8/10+ they would be far better suited doing this…

My recommendation.

Look for someone within a point of your looks range. If you’re a 5 go for women who are between a 4 and a 6. This way, you at least get in the door with most of the people you talk to while still being, relatively, satisfied with their attractiveness. I’m a realist and understand most of you just won’t date anyone significantly less attractive than yourself.

Among the people you approach and go out with look for the 3 key traits in a partner. Are they happy with their life currently? Do their words and actions show they are looking for a life partner and long-term relationship? and do they work hard at and stay organized with everything they do? if they do they’ll likely work hard at making your relationship quality.

You’ll spend more time throughout your life with your wife than anyone else in the world. Pick someone you're going to enjoy that time with, rather than chasing 10s you're never going to get until you're old and alone.