It’s a crisp autumn afternoon on Canadian Thanksgiving weekend (yes, we have a different one), and my girlfriend has managed to drag me to this year’s family get-together yet again. I’m usually not a big fan of these, but this year was different…

When seated at the dinner table feasting on steak (already an upgrade, let’s face it, turkey’s overrated), her family began to discuss the usual topic of family discussion—how easy kids have it nowadays.

To my excitement, the conversation actually took an interesting turn when they moved on to my favorite topic—dating.

Before this conversation, I thought it was a common consensus that younger generations have a harder dating environment now than people did 30 years ago. I was wrong. Every adult at the table was adamant dating is easier now than it was in their time (30ish years ago).

Their reasoning — Online dating makes it so easy to meet people.

“Chris(my GFs cousin, 23, not his real name) is going out with a new girl every other week and whenever I ask how they met he just says Instagram. Back in my day, we had to go all the way down to the bars just to maybe meet someone.”

Being pretty open-minded I had to admit, she had a decent point. Is dating actually harder now than it used to be? or have we all been fooled by the false expectations that dating is supposed to be easy? Well of course I had to do some digging…

Was dating easier 30 years ago?

The short answer is yes, it was easier to find a relationship in the 90s.

To provide some stats.

1990: The marriage rate was 9.8 per 1000 people(source) and 28% of Americans were single.(source) The average age of marriage was 23 for women and 26 for men(source).

2023: The marriage rate was 5.1 per 1000 people(source) and 31% of Americans were single(source).
The average age of marriage was 29 for women and 30 for men(source).

So from an objective standpoint, it was easier in the 90s as a higher percentage of people were in and establishing long-term relationships at younger ages.

Why is this? Well, it’s pretty simple.

The Paradox of Choice.

Despite the decline in marriage rate and relationships, it’s actually easier to meet people now than ever.

Dating Apps and the Internet have given us instant access to thousands of people of our preferred sex near our location whenever we want, this has created an entirely new problem though, the paradox of choice.

The paradox of choice is the idea that while more choices seem beneficial in theory, in practice it just makes decisions harder and eventual choices less satisfying.

Nowadays with seemingly limitless options for partners, a culture that tells us we have infinite time to choose, and that it’s not worth “settling” unless they are the perfect person, the decision to choose your person has become almost impossible to make.

Looking at the relationship statistics from 1990 and 2023 we can see this paradox of choice has actually made picking a partner harder despite it being easier than ever to meet someone.

The Solution.

If dating apps are likely causing much of the indecision in the dating market should you stop using them?

The short answer is no, they are still by far the best place to meet people in 2024. Dating Apps are the #1 way people meet right now, and anyone I know who’s done particularly well with women has done so through dating apps.

The problem is indecision, not dating apps, and so that’s what needs to be addressed.

If someone is good enough, they are good enough. Don’t delude yourself into thinking you’re ever going to find the perfect person. You won’t. You’re not perfect and neither is anyone else.

A bird in hand is worth more than two in the bush — A classic phrase that holds a lot of truth here. There might (emphasis on the might) be someone in the world better than the girl you’re currently seeing, but if you like the girl you’re seeing, the opportunity cost of trying to find better usually isn’t going to be worth it. So if you caught a bird you like, don’t let it go just because there might be others in the bush.

Leave your thoughts in the poll and I’ll see you next Thursday.