Do men really age like fine wine? The data based TRUTH.

If you’ve spent time looking for dating advice online you’ve probably come across a couple of videos that look like this…

Based on the idea that although women only get less desirable with age, this is not the case for men.

As men age they acquire more resources, connections, skills, wisdom, and other financial assets that are attractive to women. This, in theory, means men should peak later than women since men only want women for beauty while women want men for their resources.

If you believed this premise was true, then you'd assume the Age SMV Curves come out to approximately those in the chart below…

With men peaking at the ripe age of 38. In theory, it all seems like it’s based on logical reasoning, but how much truth is there to this idea? What does the data say about when men peak? and should you ignore dating in your 20s to cash out in your 30s?

To start we need to first understand who men are interested in.

Based on the data of OkCupid(a site with 50+ million all-time users) men of every age prefer women 20-23, and I think although ages below 20 aren’t included in the dataset, it would be reasonable to include 19-year-old women in this group considering the trend the data appears to follow. I’m sure this comes as a surprise to nobody, but we need to keep this in mind going forward. Men want 19-23 year old women.

The next question is now, who do the 19-23 year old women want?

The Answer: Women in their prime(19-23) have the strongest preference for men aged 21-25. Not what you were expecting?

Despite the additional knowledge, skills, connections, and wealth older men possess, younger women still prefer younger guys. Preferably men 1-3 years older than themselves.

What’s crazier is the supposed optimal age of 38 isn’t even an option in the minds of most prime women. 21-22 year old women on average filter out every man over 28 and even 23-24 year old women filter out men over 31 on average.

As someone who knows and has met a lot of women between the ages of 19 and 23, this data didn’t surprise me in the slightest. I have never, not a single time, in the dozens of women I’ve met this age, seen or heard about a single girl between the ages of 19 and 23 with a man over 30.

For the most part whenever I’ve asked about the topic of dating and age I get given the sentiment that guys over 30 are gross.

Why is this though? Why do young women like young men? We don’t know for certain, but we can make some guesses.

1. The opportunity to build a life together. When I asked my girlfriend(21) about this, her answer was she wanted someone she could build a life with. She said she didn’t want to join someone's already in progress life, she wanted to build a life with the person she picked. You shouldn’t always trust what women say in regard to dating preferences, but this seems like a reasonable explanation.

2. Attractiveness. Younger men are on average more attractive. They are in better shape, they have more hair on their head, fewer wrinkles, and more collagen(the thing that gives you glowy skin). Physical Attractiveness is by far the most important trait in the eyes of young women so therefore they’ll prefer younger men.

These are both guesses though and we don’t have any concrete answers.

The thing I think these guys who preach that women love guys over 30 are missing is that women in the West don’t really care about resources, especially younger women.

The average marital age gap in wealthier nations is just over 2 years whereas it’s close to 10 in poorer nations. This is because in wealthier nations women can make their own money and aren’t worried about them or their children starving to death. With money now not being a problem women optimize more for physical attractiveness. If we were talking about developing nations the Fine Wine Theory would be true, in these countries, women do prefer older men with more money.

Men’s Second Prime.

Although prime women prefer men 21-25 that’s not the age you will receive the most overall attention as a man. The ages at which you receive the most overall attention from women is what I’m going to refer to as men’s second prime.

1st Prime: 21-25 years old - The ages at which men receive the most attention from prime women.

2nd Prime: 25-30 years old - The ages at which men receive the most attention from women overall.

Between the Ages of 25-30, you will have appeal to the largest total pool of single women as both women a little younger and older than you will be interested in you. Women’s standards also start to decline at 25 as their desirability does meaning you have more women with lower standards interested in you at these ages. This makes dating as a whole feel significantly easier for men once they hit their 2nd prime, although it will be harder with the women who you desire the absolute most.

Conclusion

Men typically settle down and get married near the end of their second prime at the age of 30 in the United States, which in my opinion is probably a good call. Around the age of 30, the women interested in you start coming off the market rapidly looking to settle down before their fertility window closes. By the age of 36, your options will of more than halfed since 30 falling from 68% of single women interested in you to 32%.

Past the age of 35, the women most interested in you will be either past or near the end of their fertility window making finding a woman to start a family with really difficult.

For my younger readers(20 or younger) dating will get easier for you over the next few years so don’t be too pressed if you haven’t had a ton of success yet.

For my older readers(30 or older) you’re on the clock. Your runway is a couple of years longer than women, but only a couple. If you have any intention of starting a family don’t be fooled by your longer fertility window, you need to get on it. Even though it might not seem like it you’re in just as much of a rush as women, as the women who are most interested in you’s fertility window is closing, even if yours isn’t.

For those 21-29 you are in your sexual market prime right now, take advantage of it. Don’t listen to anyone who tells you “Grind in your 20s, live in your 30s” they’re lying to you. Now is the best chance you have of finding a wife and you're going to have the most and best selection of marital candidates to choose from. Improve your appearance as much as you can and make an effort to really look for a marital candidate you would be excited to settle down with.

In my opinion, your 20s are for finding your life partner with your 30s as a less favourable backup option. The goal of your 20s should be to find the right person to grow and build a family with. In dating you’re at a very clear disadvantage the older you get past 30 so don’t push it off. Building wealth will be much easier in your 30s and 40s and honestly has no time limit, you don’t need to grind away your 20s.

Exceptions will exist; If you were fat your whole 20s and got fit in your 30s you will likely find dating easier in your 30s. This doesn’t disprove anything though as dating would have been easier for you had you been fit in your 20s than it is for you now fit in your 30s.

Exceptions are exceptions and the vast majority of people will find the most dating success in their 20s. Even the celebrities constantly brought up as older men who can pull younger women(DiCaprio, Pitt, etc.) were both more attractive and likely had more options when younger.

Don’t be fooled by Fine Wine Theorists. Unless you live in an underdeveloped country where resources take priority over everything, it’s just not true. The single life will get real lonely past 40 but by then you might be all out of luck. Don’t wait and get dating.