Learning "Game" Won't Make Girls Like You

It’s 2016 and I’m in my room stressing over how to respond to my crush’s last message.

How do I respond to this? Should I tell a joke? or maybe ask an interesting question, or maybe I’ll say something interesting about myself, that way she thinks I’m cool.

I’d stress for hours trying to come up with the perfect thing to say to make her attracted to me just for her to give me a dry response back no matter what I said.

It didn’t matter what I said

In hindsight, it’s comical thinking about young me stressing over what message to send. She already knew she wasn’t attracted to me. It didn’t matter what I said because no matter what I said she wasn’t going to want to be with me.

She’d continue to text me either to try and be nice or because I was funny and entertaining to text. It doesn’t really matter which, the point is she wasn’t texting me to figure out whether she thought I was attractive or not. She figured that out within the first 15 seconds of meeting me.

Girls know if they’re attracted to you within the first 15 seconds of meeting you

Before a girl sees you she knows if she’s single and actually in a place in her life where she’d be open to letting a new guy into it.

The second she sees you she knows whether you meet her looks threshold or not.

Within the first 2 sentences, you say to her she knows if your voice/social skills are passable enough to maintain the attractiveness your looks provided.

After that, she decides whether to put you in the short or long-term mate bucket.

Then it’s just logistics.

The myth of PUA(Pick-Up Artists)

If you’re a younger reader you might not have heard about PUA but when I first got interested in women it was ‘The way you get women’ whenever you looked online.

I remember stumbling across it online looking up “how to get a girlfriend” and thinking ‘This is what I’ve been missing’. The premise of pick-up artistry is essentially if you say the right string of words you can pull any girl no matter who you are, so of course I was sold. Any girl I want just saying rephrasing my words, easy.

This couldn’t be further from the truth.

In reality, it’s almost the exact opposite. It basically doesn’t matter what you say; it all comes down to who you are and who the girl is.

As much as it may suck to hear, you can’t convince her to like you, she does or she doesn’t. No matter how good you’re game is or how much rizz you spit, it isn’t going to work unless she finds you attractive.

The exception

The only time your game will matter is if it’s horrible. If you say some creepy shit or just meander about wasting her time, never moving the interaction forward, you will lose any attraction she has for you.

Some simple rules:

• Be a generally kind and polite person

• Don’t insult her in a spiteful way(playful can be ok if used properly)

• Don’t be overtly sexual immediately

• Don’t react OVERLY emotionally to things

• Flirt with her if she shows interest

• Actually ask her out/to go home with you if she likes you(crazy thought right)

Follow these and your game won’t be the limiting factor in your dating life.

“Women choose men with their mouth closed”

This is a phrase I heard a couple of months ago and for the most part, it sums up the reality of the dating market. Obviously as mentioned before, if you’re completely socially inept it will be a problem but, assuming you’re within a standard deviation of normal socially(15th percentile or higher) it’s not going to be the thing holding you back.

Game won’t save you, but these will

As discussed learning “game” or “getting your rizz right” isn’t going to save your unsuccessful dating life.

The two things that will are…

• Meeting more women. Everyman will meet the looks threshold of a percentage of women, even if it may be small. So just mathematically if you meet enough women you’ll meet the looks threshold of one you find attractive eventually.

• Become more attractive. Becoming more attractive will help drastically if you’re already meeting any amount of women each week, as a higher percentage of women you talk to will find you attractive. Whether that be the gym, making more money, getting on hair loss medication, getting a hair transplant, etc. getting more attractive will help.

Overall, don’t stress about saying the perfect line, or telling your joke at the perfect time. It won’t make a difference. If a girl’s being dry don’t be her jester, she would put back equal effort into the interaction if she was attracted to you. Move on and stop wasting your time.

Just keep improving yourself and meeting new women until you find a woman you like, who likes you back. If you actually try for long enough it’ll happen.