If Dating Apps Suck, Why Do We Keep Using Them?

The other day I was scrolling instagram and I came across this post…

The post referenced a new study by Michael J. Rosenfeld at Stanford University that showed as of most recent polling 55% of new couples meet through dating apps (an all-time high).

I found this interesting for obvious reasons, but what I found even more interesting was the commet section…

People HATE Dating Apps. Every top comment was refering to this new study as a tragedy.

And this isn’t a rare sentiment. According to Forbes Health Survey 79% of Gen-Z(the largest single population) stated they felt some level of dating app burnout.

This leads to the obvious next question… If everyone hates Dating Apps why do they keep using them?

Dating Apps have continued to be downloaded at historic rates, and more couples meet on them than ever, yet the common consesus is they suck.

It’s an odd paradox, but one I think I can explain.

It comes down 3 things.

1. They work.

The first reason people keep using dating apps despite the consensus hate for them is… they work.

The majority(55%) of people in developed world meet through dating apps.

And on top of that the same standford study found firm evidence the relationships founded through dating apps are equally happy and stable as those founded through alternatives. People are just as good at picking partners regardless of where they meet the people they pick from.

It’s simply a fact that you can find a quality partner on a dating app.

2. There’s no good alternative (for most people).

The second reason (and in my opinion the main one) that people continue to use dating apps despite the hate is that most people don’t have a good alternative.

There’s no other avenue that gives you nearly as much volume as dating apps and because of that they continue to dominate how people meet.

If you strike out with the 3 girls in you’re social circle (if there are any to begin with) you’re out of luck. If you strike out with 3 women on datings apps you just keep swiping.

The only other alternative that provides sufficient volume for most people is cold approaching, which turns out men(rightfully) don’t really like doing. The threat of getting beraided for approaching the wrong girl leads men to look to avoid it.

A survey by Date Psychology found 45% of men aged 18-25 have never asked a woman out in person, and in a post “me too” world, we all know why.

There are some exceptions. Men in frats, working in women dominated fields, or just with exentisive female social circles can simply rely on their network to bring in new volume. Most men don’t have that though, and are stuck sticking to the apps.

3. Dating as a whole is hard.

The main reason people hate on dating apps is because dating is inherently difficult, and if you don’t know how to effectively utilize dating apps it's almost impossible.

Finding a partner is one of the three key objectives the average person holds(health, wealth, relationships). This makes it one of the most competitive games on the planet as essentially everyone is participating.

Finding a partner has never been “easy” and still isn’t today… now we just have a scape goat.

“it’s the apps fault I’m single” “they’ve ruined dating”

It’s a lot easier to blame the tools availble then it is to blame yourself for not learning how to use them. So people do.

The truth is dating apps are the solution technology has created to solve the lack of volume for most men. As with most technology though, people struggle to adapt to it.

It’s admittedly difficult to get dating apps to work in your favour, it took me years to put together a system that made them effective for me, so I understand the struggle.

But luckily for you, you don’t have to go through that. I’ve already put it together for you.